A mighty fine 2009

2009 is off to a great start. A sing-a-long on New Years Eve, a Wrigley bar crawl on New Years Day for a hockey game (where I was groped by a penguin), and the invention of acronym shots... I'm already looking forward to the next 12 months.

To commemorate the beginning of a new year, I share with you my 2009 resolutions and anti-resolutions. I also share "the list" and "the anti-list" (you know, just to even it all out). I'm sure I'm forgetting many things so I may amend every three months or so. But for now, here it is, in no particular order:

2009 Resolutions (things to change):

• I will no longer deliberately walk between couples holding hands
• I will not take out my intense dislike of unruly children on strollers
• I will stop yelling at people to walk faster
• I will try my best to keep my energy, instead of letting others take it away
• I will attempt to curb my evil thoughts (you heard me)
• I will try not to use the word "hate" so much (yep, I said it)
  
• I will embrace my like-dislike relationship with the CTA

2009 Anti-Resolutions (things to keep):

• I will not apologize for (or stop) yelling at the TV during sports
• I will not apologize for holding grudges
• I will not apologize for my past/mistakes, only learn from them
• I will let karma run its course (I'm doomed, I know)
• I will continue to take inappropriate (and appropriate) pictures, just cause half the shit we do needs to be documented
• I will continue to make inappropriate jokes cause seriously, you gotta have a sense of humor for the work I wanna do...
  
• I will continue to look for a way out of the snow
• I will continue to examine men's socks-shoes combinations and be picky about them
  
• I will continue to make up words and continue to curse in another language
• I will continue to believe that if you haven't hooked up with someone in 10 years, it should be expunged from your record

The list (things I intensely dislike):

• the Yankees, Ohio State, Notre Dame, the Jets, the Mannings, Brett Favre
• being told that I can't do something
• being told what to do or what not to do
  
• people who don't know the different between "your" and "you're"
• people who don't tip wait staff, bartenders
• people who call me "sweetie" "hon" "darlin'" "baby" or anything of the sort
• people who assume my name is shortened to "Liz" or "Beth"
• people who have the world handed to them, without earning it
• people who shove their beliefs in your face
• people who can't take a joke
  
• "baby talk" to kids, significant others, and/or pets
• parents who don't pay attention to their children
• tourists who think Navy Pier in the winter is a good idea
• professors who don't have time for their own class
  
• students who use class time to tell personal stories
• rudeness, inconsiderateness, ignorance, closed-mindedness, inefficiency, double standards
• drama
  
• jewelry commercials
• groin pulls
• men who wear skinny jeans and women who wear leggings as pants
  

The anti-list (things I intensely like):

• Michigan Wolverines, Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots, Detroit Red Wings, Ed Hochuli
• all ESPN channels, the NFL Network, the NHL Network, the MLB Network, the Big Ten Network
• coffee ice cream
• NKOTB
• kickboxing
• the way sports announcers talk about ball control, penetration and stripping
  
• the running man and anyone who can do the worm
• poop, taint and balls stories
• flexible hypocrisy and moral flexibility
• O Canada
  
• In & Out Burger
• my mom's cooking
  
• summer streetfests
• men with accents
• watching hockey goalies stretch before games
  
• Cabo San Lucas and Maui
• Ice Ice Baby, the Humpty Dance and Baby Got Back
  
• Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
• my DVR
• sharing hilarious stories, even at my own expense