Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack...

I know, I know. I'm a blog slacker. A lot of it had to do with my schedule but another reason was that I just didn't have anything to write. My ability to write (or lack thereof) was reserved for schoolwork and the occasional Deadspin essay. I apologize. But now that my writing days for Deadspin are over, I can get back to this...

One of the topics we were given was about the "jock mentality" when it comes to women. I censored myself for that essay but thought I'd use that topic as a jumping off point for more whore stories. The all athletes version of whore stories. Again, these are stories of several different people.

  • Girl A has an "arrangement" with a baseball player (let's call him Pitcher #1). Unbeknownst to him, she also has an "arrangement" with a teammate (Pitcher #2). One night, Girl A opens her front door and sees Pitcher #1 standing there. And Pitcher #2's truck driving away.
  • Girls A and B visit a couple of football players. The football players decide to do a little dance for the girls, thinking it'd get them in the mood. One of them started stripping to "Justify My Love" covering himself only with a cowboy hat. Only thing it did was provide for a great whore story.
  • Girl A hooks up with a hockey player. Next morning, she finds his national championship ring on her nightstand. She returned it.
  • Girl A hooks up with a football player but then later says she was grossed out. When we asked her why, she said, "He had blonde pubes."
  • Girl A hooks up with a football player who was a stud around campus for making a game-winning kick. Next day, she tells us she didn't even know she was having sex with him. It was so small, she actually said to him, "Is it in?" (Sidenote: Three other friends hooked up with this guy. They all collaborate Girl A's story.)
  • Girl A starts making out with Hockey Player #1 on a balcony. He starts to creep her out so she tries to escape. Hockey Player #1 won't let go until Hockey Player #2 steps in. Later, Girl A starts making out with Hockey Player #2 and later says, "He saved me. I figured it was the least I could do."
  • Girl A is talking to a guy who's on the water polo team. She's not really interested but at the time, Girl A and her friends had a mission to at least kiss one guy from each team. So Girl A hooked up with the water polo guy. You know, so we could scratch that one off the list.
  • Girl A hooks up with an Olympic swimmer. In the middle of the night, he wakes up, gets out of bed and pees out her window. He says to her, "Whatever, it's just pee and it's not in your room." She tells us the next day, "You know he pees in the pool."
  • Girl A goes home with a hockey player she's had a crush on for a while. While he gives her a tour of his apartment, she notices a camcorder on his nightstand. Girl A can't run home fast enough.

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