Saturday, January 3, 2009

A mighty fine 2009

2009 is off to a great start. A sing-a-long on New Years Eve, a Wrigley bar crawl on New Years Day for a hockey game (where I was groped by a penguin), and the invention of acronym shots... I'm already looking forward to the next 12 months.

To commemorate the beginning of a new year, I share with you my 2009 resolutions and anti-resolutions. I also share "the list" and "the anti-list" (you know, just to even it all out). I'm sure I'm forgetting many things so I may amend every three months or so. But for now, here it is, in no particular order:

2009 Resolutions (things to change):
  • I will no longer deliberately walk between couples holding hands
  • I will not take out my intense dislike of unruly children on strollers
  • I will stop yelling at people to walk faster
  • I will try my best to keep my energy, instead of letting others take it away
  • I will attempt to curb my evil thoughts (you heard me)
  • I will try not to use the word "hate" so much (yep, I said it)
  • I will embrace my like-dislike relationship with the CTA
2009 Anti-Resolutions (things to keep):
  • I will not apologize for (or stop) yelling at the TV during sports
  • I will not apologize for holding grudges
  • I will not apologize for my past/mistakes, only learn from them
  • I will let karma run its course (I'm doomed, I know)
  • I will continue to take inappropriate (and appropriate) pictures, just cause half the shit we do needs to be documented
  • I will continue to make inappropriate jokes cause seriously, you gotta have a sense of humor for the work I wanna do...
  • I will continue to look for a way out of the snow
  • I will continue to examine men's socks-shoes combinations and be picky about them
  • I will continue to make up words and continue to curse in another language
  • I will continue to believe that if you haven't hooked up with someone in 10 years, it should be expunged from your record
The list (things I intensely dislike):
  • the Yankees, Ohio State, Notre Dame, the Jets, the Mannings, Brett Favre
  • being told that I can't do something
  • being told what to do or what not to do
  • people who don't know the different between "your" and "you're"
  • people who don't tip wait staff, bartenders
  • people who call me "sweetie" "hon" "darlin'" "baby" or anything of the sort
  • people who assume my name is shortened to "Liz" or "Beth"
  • people who have the world handed to them, without earning it
  • people who shove their beliefs in your face
  • people who can't take a joke
  • "baby talk" to kids, significant others, and/or pets
  • parents who don't pay attention to their children
  • tourists who think Navy Pier in the winter is a good idea
  • professors who don't have time for their own class
  • students who use class time to tell personal stories
  • rudeness, inconsiderateness, ignorance, closed-mindedness, inefficiency, double standards
  • drama
  • jewelry commercials
  • groin pulls
  • men who wear skinny jeans and women who wear leggings as pants
The anti-list (things I intensely like):
  • Michigan Wolverines, Boston Red Sox, New England Patriots, Detroit Red Wings, Ed Hochuli
  • all ESPN channels, the NFL Network, the NHL Network, the MLB Network, the Big Ten Network
  • coffee ice cream
  • kickboxing
  • the way sports announcers talk about ball control, penetration and stripping
  • the running man and anyone who can do the worm
  • poop, taint and balls stories
  • flexible hypocrisy and moral flexibility
  • O Canada
  • In & Out Burger
  • my mom's cooking
  • summer streetfests
  • men with accents
  • watching hockey goalies stretch before games
  • Cabo San Lucas and Maui
  • Ice Ice Baby, the Humpty Dance and Baby Got Back
  • Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
  • my DVR
  • sharing hilarious stories, even at my own expense


  1. hey babe - (jk) Great Lists!

    "I will continue to believe that if you haven't hooked up with someone in 10 years, it should be expunged from your record" -I'm thinking more like 5 years.

    "people who don't know the different between "your" and "you're"" - I HATE this as well!!! That's like English 001

    "jewelry commercials" - i REALLY REALLY REALLY dislike jewelry commercials as well.

    "poop, taint and balls stories" - ewwwww. the p word is one that is not in my vocabulary.

  2. I find it interesting that the p word is not in someone's vocabulary BUT no issues with taint and balls... Odd...