Thursday, January 22, 2009

New Phrases for a New Year

So last Sunday night, I went out with two friends who share my juvenile sense of humor. We were talking about various topics including the following:
  • What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen after pulling down a guy's or girl's pants?
  • Certain guys are a waste of a big dick.
  • Crazy girls will keep whatever memento they can of their "relationship" with you.
  • What exactly has to happen to count as a threesome?
  • Under what circumstance is it okay to delete your Facebook page?
One of the better discussions took place when we started to break down categories for Laura's annual contest, "Fat Ass of the NFL". She said one category could be "best moose knuckles" and from there, the conversation just progressed (or deteriorated)... Someone (I think Mike) came up with an alternate phrase, "extra batter", so the three of us sat at the bar, explicitly comparing the spillage of extra batter (when making muffins) to moose knuckles. Anyway, as we were talking and listening to Mike's story about needing two Speedo's to swim across Chem Lake, we noticed that the man sitting next to Mike got up and moved to the other end of the bar. We totally scared him off. A new phrase is born. The Extra Batter Effect: the ability to scare people away with a conversation.

Another topic discussed sometime during the day is the fact that some guys will always surround themselves with crazy chicks. The love of drama, the love of humiliation, the love of attention. Totally describes Rock of Love, doesn't it? Bret Michaels deliberately keeps the craziest chicks around. Probably to keep audiences watching the show cause really, who's going to watch if there isn't any drama? But if he's (supposedly) also dating these chicks, why the hell would he choose the craziest? Once again, a phrase is born. Some guys have Bret Michaels Syndrome: the love of crazy chicks and always wanting to be near them.

I cannot wait to use these phrases in 2009...

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